What about Me!


I had a 12-hour day. You know, the type of day when you leave before the sun comes out and don’t return until well after sunset?

I left my work life and personal responsibilities to serve the community and fulfill my commitment to giving back.

The end of the day left me exhausted and reconsidering my choices. The revelation for change came when I realized that I had missed a vital telephone meeting involving my son and had to be reminded that it was my mother’s birthday.

I was not one to quit, but I knew what I needed to do: I had to let go. I have found that letting go is one of the hardest things to do, especially for women.

Many women ask how to balance family, personal, and work life. Most answer honestly by saying there is no balance; you must prioritize. I could not agree more.

Sometimes, we take on too much. In our attempts to accommodate other people, help others, or accept responsibilities, we steal time from ourselves; it may be due to guilt or a sincere attempt to serve others.

When things get overwhelming, it is time to say enough is enough. It may be time to take inventory of everything not moving you closer to your personal or professional goals. Your personal goal may be to try to live a well-balanced life and contribute to helping others do the same. Your career or business goal may be to take on only what you can handle or to have a professional life that offers you flexibility and helps you feel fulfilled and appreciated.

I suggest that you save yourself first. The people that depend on you do so because you are dependable. Trust me when I say that they will replace you with someone else if they need to. Remember that we teach people how to treat us; if we allow them to drain us of everything we have, they will willfully take advantage of it.

My response to my dilemma is to reduce the obligations I have placed on myself. I have determined some outside projects will have to be cut despite my good intentions. I will keep those that I am most passionate about and where I feel most appreciated. I will not be giving until it hurts.

My Lesson: Sometimes, good intentions have to be reassessed. If you are doing anything that makes you forget your own mother’s birthday, stop it! Take a time-out.

My Suggested Action Plan: Start to remove items from your plate and prioritize your tasks and responsibilities.

Please share your insight on letting go and moving on to enjoy a more peaceful existence.

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  1. Wow! You are right….. wayyyyy too much on your plate! I think we as women tend to think we are Super Women. Not in a big headed kind of way but God made us to be Nurturing, giving, I can handle this …… And anything this else on my already too full plate! The down side is we tend to forget living like this is Not Healthy! I applaud you for recognizing and sharing. God Bless

  2. This is definitely a timely message for me, as well. In November 2012 I made the decision to focus on my passion, which I had “put on the back burner” for the past three years. I had to get a full-time job and my dream had to wait. My duties at work have changed drastically over the past two years and I like them. However, they are starting to make my brain hurt and my focusing on my dream and keeping up with work has become overwhelming.

    So to take care of myself this month I will be taking several much needed Time Outs! I will not be working on Fridays and I am taking off the last week of this month. I will be working on my dream, but I won’t be overwhelmed with someone else’s “stuff.”

    I am praying for the day, when I can truly “Live on Purpose” as God wants me to do. In the meantime, I have to pay my bills!

  3. AMEN sistah! We as women have traditionally taken on more than we should on any given day! I am a advocate for “slowing your roll” in the middle of a project. It is a good thing to assess your needs and get a real life look at what is a priority in your life and what is REALLY important to our quality of life and the lives of others. You cannot help someone else if you neglect yourself, Take care my SISTERS and keep it MOVIN!

    LOVE Denise
    CEO New Beginnings Graphix/Marketing, LLC

    • Denise, I think I hit a nerve with so many women who are simply feeling overwhelmed. I agree, ladies…please take care of yourselves. It is nice to be nice, but even nicer to be nice to yourselves.

  4. This could be a monthly series Ola, since we constantly meet people that do not live up to the expectations we place on them. So really, it is NOT their fault (they are being themselves). We must choose who we let in; so I am purposely letting go with love. I don’t want to work with folks that don’t get partnerships, ie, win/win/win experiences.

  5. This aricle is very timely and on point. I suggest that everyone who reads it begins to prioritize the things that are important in their life. Often times, when we begin to set priorities in place for our lives, everyone isn’t going to be happy because it may mean their time is limited but ultimately it’s a “win” for everyone. My motto is: Prioritize – Plan – Perform!!


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